Life Happens

This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog

I’ve been watching various segments of the new Discovery Channel program, Life. Two nights ago, I viewed the ‘Making of Life’, which showed the artistry, patience, and innovation necessary to film some of the most amazing wildlife footage. While watching, I found myself very compelled to listen to two different crews talk about their experience in the wild. 

One crew was stationed in a remote tropical island to film komodo dragons’ eating habits while the other was stationed on an arctic island to video killer whales. In both situations, they set up shop and waited to see what happened. On the tropical island, the crew went to the sole watering hole on the island and watched a water buffalo become a meal for six komodo dragons. While on the Arctic Island, the crew captured killer whales feed on baby pup seals. On both islands, the film crew made connections and learned the personalities of the prey. In short, both of them described how it was very difficult to be on assignment and simply film life happening, without the ability to intervene and come to the rescue.

As empathic leaders, we can use our skills as nurturers to assist those who are in the midst of tough situations. Often, leaders will witness others in pain or debating difficult decisions. Leaders also serve as the go-to person when something frustrating happens to another. When these things happen, the leader’s best tool is his/her ability to listen. As leaders, we can provide open ears to truly hear what the others are saying to allow them to wrestle and come to grips with what is going on for them. Leaders can be of significant service when they utilize empathic listening to understand the other. By authentically listening to the stories and situations of others, we can help them unravel their feelings and come to understand the complexities of the circumstance. By doing so, we help them engage in the ever-necessary reflection that will help them get to a better place. With empathy, we can enable life to happen and watch others come alive by their own means.

Lighthouse Leadership

This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog

“There is a trough in waves, a low spot where the horizon disappears and only sky and water are our company.  And there we lose our way unless we rest…”  (Trough, By Judy Brown)

In our journey as leaders, we experience crests (our accomplishments and successes) as well as troughs (our disappointments and failures).  Neither is inescapable.  As I was reading this poem, I was thinking about how I often find myself wanting to fill in the ‘trough’ of others. I ask, how I can help those at a seemingly low point of their leadership journey? 

I believe the answer is simple – and it falls in line with the ending of Trough;

“…If we rest there, in the trough, in the silence, being with the low part of the wave…time alone will bring us to another place where we can see the horizon, see the land again, regain our sense of where we are, and where we need to swim to.”   

As leaders, we need to recognize that each individual has the sole responsibility to ‘rest’ and ‘see the land again’.  They, with the help of time will be brought back to the crest.  However, as empathic leaders, we can be of great and significant service.  We can provide in the same way lighthouses serve passing ships in the night. Leaders who employ empathy are beacons of light.  These leaders serve as guides to those lost at sea and help struggling wayfarers get to a better place.    

Empathic leaders are present and attentive to when others are deep within troughs.  Our presence and attention provides hope and inspiration.  Asking questions of meaning, purposefully listening, or sitting in silence with the person in need is a great way to show empathy.  By doing so, we can better understand the experience from their perspective.  We are then prepared to respond in a supportive way – the way we would want to be responded to in that situation.  

StoryTelling and StoryListening

This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog

“Stories are the language of leadership…real power emanates from our ability to connect to ourselves and those around us.”  Kevin Cashman shares this insight in his book, Leadership from the Inside Out. 

What stories are you a part of?  What stories have influenced you and brought you significant learning and transformation?  More importantly, what stories are you communicating?  Take a moment to think about those questions and please share some comments and responses. 

In order to be the powerful leaders Cashman describes, our job is to two fold; connect with ourselves and connect with others.  To connect with others, leaders need to share stories.  By storytelling, we powerfully communicate who we are and what we are about – our vision and goals.  Doing so enables others to get on board, to get excited, and to get in the mood for partnership or collaboration.  To connect with ourselves, leaders need to listen authenticity.  By listening to others, we take in new information.  This new information leads to new learning.  And by reflecting upon that new learning, we connect to ourselves.  

You Don't Have To Yell

**This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog**

Last week, I used a favorite song (Lemonade) from Chris Rice to share about the importance of an optimistic attitude. Since then I have been listening to Rice nonstop. He seems to have a song with an important message related to all of our recent blog themes. This week and next I will explore the topic of ‘communication’ from a leadership perspective. Before we get into it, reflect for a moment on the most transformative conversations you’ve been a part of.  What was it that enabled you to listen and really hear the meaning behind what was being said? This reflection will help you create an image of what it means to effectively communicate, both from the listener’s and speaker’s point of view. Both points of view are critical for leaders. 

Now, let’s get into what makes an effective speaker. I think we can all agree, that yelling, for the most part is not the most effective method of sharing information. In, “You Don’t Have To Yell”, Chris Rice shares, “Everybody take a breath. Why are all of your faces red?  We’re missing all the words you said. You don’t have to yell.” When we get wrapped up in emotion and yell, people miss the information we say because they are caught up in our emotion. The loudness of our voices can actually be used as a tool. We can raise and lower our voice to artfully show our emotions without losing the audience. The way to judge whether you are successfully conveying your message is to become a good listener.

“If everyone would take a step back away and count to ten to clear your mind and start again, we won’t have to yell. Draw your lines and choose your sides. Cause many things are worth the fight, but louder doesn’t make you right. You don’t have to yell.” As leaders, it is crucial for us to be passionate about those things that are worth the fight.  Use your passion as fuel to power your conversations with others and liven your vision when you lead the way. Yelling just won’t get it done. 

Lemonade

This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog

When we talk about attitude, I can’t think of a better example of someone who is living the I’mPossible attitude (check out my previous post) than musician, Chris Rice.  Leaders can garner a great deal by listening to his lyrics and tunes.  This is especially true for one of my favorites, a song titled Lemonade (from his Amusing album).

Lemonade opens by providing a suggestion about taking a risk and chancing it - “‘Cause nobody knows what’s coming”, so what do you have to lose?  What are you waiting for?  Leaders take chances.  They go out on a limb – they take a stand – they journey to the edge(s).  Leaders have the attitude of adventure and courage.  Leaders don’t ask why., they ask why not!  And then they go and take the risk, chance it to make it happen. 

Rice also shares an important message about attitude when he sings, “Take your time to answer me, for the beauty of romancing...I can hardly breath while waiting, to find out what your heart is saying.”  Although leaders are bold and daring in their adventurousness and courage, they also exemplify patience and pausing.  Exceptional leaders also employ the I’mPossible attitude with calm and collection.

But my favorite line in the song, the chorus, really gets me excited, “C’mon pour the glass and tempt me, either half full or half empty – ‘cause if it all comes down to flavor, the glass is tipping in my favor.  Life gave me lemonade”  This is where the I’mPossible attitude shines.  Leaders realize there is a choice in how we see the world (either half full or half empty)  Great leaders take it a step further and actively choose how to see the world - as half full.  When we see the world as half full, when we use the I’mPossible attitude, it works in our favor. 

With lemons, you have a choice – sit in the sourness or choose to make lemonade.  (Check out the song and share your thoughts…)  

I'MPossible

This blog was originally posted on www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog

“I’MPOSSIBLE” is an attitude. It is a way of life. It is the courage to look at the impossible and say, “I am possible.” Great leaders understand the importance of attitude. They understand that not just any attitude will get them to where they want to go. But having the right attitude is the difference maker. I’MPOSSIBLE is the right attitude - it is the attitude of success!

Writers from many different fields express the importance and power of an I’MPOSSIBLE attitude. From self-help to psychology and business to leadership, research shows that our minds are powerful. Beyond research, we can all attest to the fact that our attitudes, whether negative or positive, shape the way we think, feel, and act. I believe that if we can shift our negative or limiting attitudes to be positive and empowering, we will be able to accomplish incredible endeavors. Others have said it better than me – look below to see what famous leaders have to say about the I’MPOSSIBLE attitude.

“When we look out into the world, we do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are…The world is simply a mirror.  Simply put, if you are in a wonderful mood, if you’ve just fallen in love, the world is a glorious place full of beauty and promise.  If you are miserable, if you just lost a pile of money in the stock market, the world is a hateful, hopeless place in which nothing good will ever happen for you.  The World did not change.”  Cheri Huber – Making a Change For Good

I’MPOSSIBLE is about looking at the world in a particular way - in a wondrous way!

“I believe that stories, again, not the ones people tell us but the ones we tell ourselves, determine nothing less than our personal and professional destinies…Participate in your story rather than observing it from afar; make sure it is a story that compels you…After all, you’re not just the author of your story, but the main character, the hero.  Jim Loehr – The Power of Story

I’MPOSSIBLE is about seeing yourself as the Hero of your own story!   

“The sun shown on me, it’s true, as my brother Michael always tells me.  But my story is as much about perseverance and drive as it is of talent and luck.  I willed it to happen.  I took my life into my own hands, learned from anyone I could, grabbed what opportunity I could, and molded my success step by step.”  Howard Schultz – CEO of Starbucks Coffee  http://www.starbucks.com/about-us/our-heritage

I’MPOSSIBLE is about willing it to happen – taking your life into your hands and purposefully molding it!

The MINDful Cycle

**This blog was originally published on iB-LIEVE's blog (www.GOiBELIEVE.com/blog)**

Much of what we learn, we learn from watching others. Whether it is a science experiment, how to kick a soccer ball, or leadership techniques - by observing others, we acquire new information – we learn. This certainly happens in childhood during our developmental years, but it doesn’t end there. Throughout the entirety of our lives, we constantly take in information on how to complete tasks. As leaders, we can use this knowledge to model how we want those with whom we interact to engage in their work.

When we are mindful, that is, being present and connected to that single task at hand, we are able to concentrate in a way that enables us to complete it quicker and more successfully than if we engaged in it distractedly. When we are mindful, we model behavior that encourages others to stay focused and present on their own tasks. This then leads to success and accomplishment of those individuals which leads to the success and accomplishment for the team or organization with which we are a part.

But let me be clear. Mindfulness does not mean being cold, closed-ff, or bored. Mindfulness is also about finding ways to make those typically mundane tasks enjoyable. Being present to those activities means creating ways to enjoy the experience. It’s actually a cycle. When we enjoy an experience, we are more connected to it. And when we are more connected to our work, it provides more meaning. When we have meaning for the things we do, we enjoy the experience. With that, I hope we can all find ways to be more mindful in our daily tasks. For me, I’ll start with being more mindful in writing my next blog. What will you begin with?